When He Stops Calling
Here is an excerpt from Calling Men: The Complete Guide to Calling and Emailing the Men You Date:
You can certainly judge a relationship by the frequency of phone calls. When you're seeing him as much as you want to; when he's regularly initiating contact; when you feel cherished and appreciated, then you know things are going well.
If the calls start becoming much less frequent - or worse, if the calls completely stop - then you have an entirely different situation on your hands.
Something is definitely wrong. Your man is either losing interest in you, or gaining interest in someone else, or both.
When your man stops calling you and emailing you as he was before, it's a bad feeling. It's also a reality that must be faced and diagnosed accurately, if you want the best chance for restoring the closeness you had with the man you have been dating. But women often do not want to see their man's behavior for what it is.
Women Tend to Go Into Denial When Their Man Stops Calling
It's very hard to accept the plain and unpleasant fact that this change in your man's calling behavior almost always means he is losing interest in the relationship.
When this happens, women so often say things like, "Things were wonderful between us. Then he stopped calling. What does this mean?"
What does it mean? You won't have to call in the FBI to figure it out.
You'll save yourself precious weeks, months, and years of putting your life on hold if you learn to interpret a man's not calling you (or calling you less) to mean exactly what it does mean: he is moving away from your relationship. Better to face the facts early and plainly, so you can respond in the way that gives you the best chance to keep your relationship with him - if staying with him is what you want.
Otherwise you'll find yourself calling him to ask him the same question, "What does this mean?" Trust me; that will not improve matters! That's not how to handle this situation.
No relationship stands still. It's either getting closer or getting farther apart. Your actions will affect the relationship even now, when his interest seems to be waning.
Judge men's feelings by their actions - whether your man admits that he's losing interest or not.
Your man may not be sure of his feelings just yet. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings or get into a heavy discussion, either. He may also want to hang on to you to at least some extent. But if you're smart, you'll base your opinions entirely on your man's actions - nothing more and nothing less.
If you don't, you'll spend valuable time waiting and waiting with false hope.
You could also change the situation from one where your man was considering backing away from you to a breakup that is now written in stone - if you make the wrong moves now.
In my book, I also show you how to handle it when, in spite of
my best efforts to convince you not to call him, you just
have to call him anyway! Sometimes, it's very tough not to call. We've all
Mimi Tanner is simply one of the best when it comes to writing to women on the art of finding and keeping a great man. She has become well-known on a global scale in a relatively short time. Why? Because she covers highly in-demand subjects with a flair and disarming friendliness that is unequalled.
Her book "Calling Men" is truly a magnum opus when it comes to dealing with one of the most frustrating problems women face in the dating world: How to handle calling, emailing and text messaging men.
You know the feeling as I do, I'm sure. You want to give him every opportunity to call you first, but you also want 100% control over your dating life. What to do? Mimi lays it all out for you in logical steps that are a blast to read.
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Relationship Coaches Scot and Emily McKay
Hosts of "X and Y on the Fly" Podcasts